Dear Sugar,
I’ve been dating a guy for four months and things have been going really well. He had no problems committing, treats me like a princess, he’s gone out of his way to prove his loyalty to me, and he always incorporates me into his life. I’ve met his friends, his co-workers, and he recently flew me home to meet his family. He’s made plans with me for events months from now and I have every reason to believe he is sincere in his seriousness about me, minus one thing: he hasn’t dropped the L Bomb.
While I feel very loved, I need to hear it, not just feel it. It’s only been four months, so I don’t think it is appropriate to bring it up, but there will come a point where it will be overtly weird for me that he hasn’t said it yet. When is that magical point if I haven’t hit it already, and how should I bring it up without freaking him out?—I Love Him Lydia
Dear I Love Him Lydia,
Since it’s only been four months and you say you feel very loved, I’m confused as to why you’re putting so much pressure on the L word. Keep in mind that saying I love you means something different for everyone—some people throw around the term while others keep the saying incredibly sacred—and since he’s giving you every reason to believe that he’s very happy in this relationship, it could just be that he’s the latter.
You say that you don’t feel it’s appropriate to bring it up quite yet, so I’d try your hardest to just be in the moment. Enjoy getting treated like a princess for awhile without fast forwarding your relationship. If it gets to the point where you need that verbal affirmation of his feelings towards you, just ask him or tell him you love him first! Obviously scaring him is an option, but if he’s not willing to talk about his feelings with you, he might not be all that great of a guy after all. I hope it all works out in the end—good luck!
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