My husband and I met on an adult internet sex site, at least according to his ex wife. And, if you listen to his ex, I am a thief, gold digger, liar, and a whole slew of words that equal slander and malice. It really doesn’t matter to her that I am an educated, former children’s pastor who met my husband after they had been split up for months when he came into my former employer’s office seeking divorce advice. In her mind, I am a homewrecker to the nth degree, and should be shot on sight.
She has slandered my name to her neighbors, her friends, my friends, and has published some extremely toxic and untrue things about not only me, but my husband as well. It has been a very frustrating experience in the very least, and a hair-pulling, scream until you are blue in the face experience at the most. However, I have learned to deal with it with humility and grace, a sense of humor, and by following the tips I try to give the divorce/custody clients I work with on a daily basis.
First of all, I try to put myself in her situation. After all, to her I’m the homewrecking, gold-digging slut who stole her husband. According to her, I took away her 24/7 ATM when my husband divorced her. Before I came along, she was content in her life eating bon-bons while my husband provided for her and their three children, and all she had to do was get out the bank card whenever she wanted something. When I came along, I ripped that ATM away from her and pulled the carpet right out from her wonderfully blissful Beaver Cleaver lifestyle.
The reality of the situation is that they had been unhappily married for at least eight years before he moved out, they had been split up and living apart for well over a year, and they were working toward divorce. But to her, she was happily married, and I destroyed it all. So, when dealing with her, I know I am not dealing with a rational person, and that she sees in me the embodiment of all that is evil and wrong with the world today. By viewing the conflict through her eyes, it is much easier to have some empathy for this woman, and not to take the things she says and does personally. It’s really not about me, and it would be any woman my husband chose to have a relationship with after her.
